I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
