Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
