Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
did i just pee glitter
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
