oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
