Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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