What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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