I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
