I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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