I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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