Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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