The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
