remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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