Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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