I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I would ride that face into the sunset
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
