how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
third nipple confirmed
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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