I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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