Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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