Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
