My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
