My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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