this beer tastes like vomit already
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
