My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
