So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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