i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
