Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
