That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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