R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She announced her abortion via fbk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
