Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
