Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
