38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
