I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize