you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
