I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
