Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
