Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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