Dual....:-)
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
