i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
