He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
