Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
