i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
