I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
