I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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