mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
