So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
