i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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