Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
