How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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