His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i think we sleep fucked last night...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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