I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize
