the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
