i think my mom watched the whole time
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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