I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
