Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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