All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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