Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
