Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize