Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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