JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
