Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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