What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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