Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize