I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
