i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize