Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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