Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
