i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she told me i tasted like america
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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