I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just invented taco cereal.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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