My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
